My Story- The Pain, The Joy, and the Silent Suffering

My Story — The Pain, The Joy, and the Silent Suffering

If I could describe the last few years, I’d say it felt like life was happening all at once. Moments of unspeakable loss and unexpected joy colliding in ways I never could have imagined.

In 2019, my world stopped.

My baby sister—my heart—was taken from us in a tragic act of violence. Just months later, I lost my grandfather, a man who had been a pillar in my life. The grief was unbearable, and I found myself walking away from my first IVIBE salon—not because I didn’t love it, but because I couldn’t push past the pain of losing my sister.

Then came 2020—the pandemic shut down the world. My oldest son graduated that year in a time of isolation and uncertainty. The very next year, as we were still adjusting to life in a changed world, tragedy struck again.

In 2021, my youngest son lost his father—just three months before his own graduation. The weight of that loss was heavy, but despite it all, he graduated and set off for college, carrying a strength I can’t even begin to put into words.

And in the middle of all of this—the loss, the grief, the uncertainty—I got engaged to my best friend. And by the end of that same year, we were married.

Life was happening in extremes—devastating lows, unbelievable highs—all at once. And I was just trying to keep my head above water.

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Trying to Move Forward… While Stuck in the Past

In 2022, I poured my energy into opening The IVIBE Experience, a new salon concept, hoping that creating something new would help heal the broken pieces of my heart. I launched my sister’s haircare line, cosmetics, sleepwear, and boutique—doing everything I could to keep her memory alive.

But the truth was… I was still stuck on April 13, 2019—the day she died.

I didn’t realize I was battling PTSD, depression, and unprocessed grief until 2023, when I faced my sister’s killer in court. I heard the full truth about what happened to her, the details I never knew. And with every word, I felt my soul shatter all over again.

I waited for an apology that never came.

For any sign of remorse. But there was none.

And the rage that filled me was unbearable.

The pain was suffocating.

And I didn’t know how to move forward.

Psalm 34:18 became my lifeline:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

And I was crushed.

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2025 — A Year of Getting Up Again

But here’s the thing…

God never intended for me to stay there.

I made a decision. 2025 would be different.

This is the year I stop merely surviving and start truly healing.

The year I let go of what was never mine to carry.

The year I forgive—not because the man who took my sister deserved it, but because I deserve to be free.

I’m choosing to GET UP.

To get up from grief.

To get up from pain.

To get up from the silent suffering that almost took me out.

To get up and trust God with the rest.

And now—I’m inviting you in.